Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
