bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
