i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
