Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
