just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
