Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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