i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
