Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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