and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
