your parents love me but you hate me
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
