genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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