was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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