Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
