i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
