Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
