Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
