he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I could make wine with my vomit
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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