Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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