chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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