Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
