how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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