The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
