ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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