Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
