You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
