Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
