fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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