he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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