Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
