dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
