Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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