i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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