SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
