Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
