Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
