Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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