community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
