I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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