Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
