Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I believe in your delicious
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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