why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
