ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
