You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
