I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
