i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
