garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
