Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
