My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
