Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Let's get the cat blown out
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
