Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
